Friday, November 03, 2006

Infatuation or Obsession?

Now, this is what Evil Spock has been waiting for...
My Bruce Campbell Shrine.

You see that face? Now, many of you would call me crazy for thinking that's sexy... and granted I married someone totally different than that- but let me explain myself before ya'll go passing judgement.

The year was 1993. I was about 11 or 12 years old. I was madly in love with horses, and thought that I would marry a cowboy and live on a ranch. I watched TGIF religiously, and loved Chef Boyardee products and Fruit Roll-ups.

Life was innocent and pure. Then one day I saw a commercial for a certain television show that was starting and I literally froze.

I wrote little post-it notes and put them everywhere to remind myself when this show was premiering, and when that day and time finally came around I sat only two or three feet away from the television screen, Indian-style, in my jammies, with the volume cranked.

At first it was the cowboys and the horses... and then I saw his face.

Brisco County Jr.

I started a group on Prodigy with my computer from the year 1812 and posted bulletins all about him. I made my parents buy me pictures and posters of him. I fell in love with this man.

I told everyone I met, and even my parents- that one day I was going to marry this man.

He was so witty, smart, and honestly he was the first man to make me gush and swoon over.

Stop laughing out loud- someone will hear you and think you're being a deviant or something. :)

I saw Army of Darkness that year (I think it was) and even though it was a bit creepy with all that gore- look at that face. Look at that hair. The chainsaw... yeah, part of me wish I was a dirty demon he could play with. Then again, I didn't really know exactly what that entailed then.




Okay, that's fine and dandy... until I still have this super big crush on him and I'm in middle school. The first boy who kissed me wasn't Bruce... but when I closed my eyes he sure as hell was.

The first boy I slept with... kept my eyes closed the entire time thinking about Bruce Campbell.

Honest to God.

The other boys I've slept with have all been Bruce Campbell at some point in time- mostly the best times. To think, most of them thought I was that into them. Nope... I was just picturing you as someone old enough to be our dad. :)

It's now 13 years later. I'm still "oh-my-gawsh-super-hot" for the man. Husband doesn't know- unless he reads this which he mostly doesn't I'm sure- and even him before when we were in high school- yes, he was Bruce Campbell a couple of times. Shame on me. :)

I've noticed that when I'm having a bad day- Bruce will come to visit me in a dream. It's not always just about him standing there being sexy (even now with grey hair too) but it's all I need think about to smile.

Seriously... tell me that isn't one handsome man. And yes, the stubble is sexy.

Funny thing is... I wonder if I wrote to him and sent him a picture if he'd give me a lock of his hair. Sort of crazy... but we've all had our big celeb crushes... mine just never went away.

5 comments:

Madison said...

Yes, I know it's disturbing.

Evil Spock said...

Bruce is a cool ass mf'er. 100% attitude; you can't beat that. He's a got a new project coming out:

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=24217

It's called My Name is Bruce.

Guys want to be him, Madison wants to be with him . . .

Rachelle Jones said...

"The first boy I slept with... kept my eyes closed the entire time thinking about Bruce Campbell."




that is the funniest thing I have read today!!

Madison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angry Ballerina said...

I dated a guy once who was the spitting image of Bruce...And now he's gay...Go figure